Gentle Push

                                              
I am not an advocate of long distance. It is something that I had dreaded happening most of May. Randomly, at least once a day while in Managua (besides the fact that I was sick) I would break out into tears, dreading the way that I was going to feel when I had to step onto that plane by myself and tell Jeff bye for 2 months. I know serving with Young Life in Managua has been something that Jeff has desired to do all semester. I could just see a strong desire to serve in his expression and in his eagered anticipation. I rarely spoke regarding myself or my own emotions, but I knew that if I would explain my selfish desire to keep him close and in the states, would be merely that, a selfish desire. Therefore I kept my mouth closed and tried my hardest to keep the tears back and silently dreaded the anticipation of the summer separation.

Fast forward to me crying the distance of 3 countries back to Texas, and barely being audible trying to explain to the American customs that I was fine and not in danger- but merely being an emotional girl, was not necessarily my greatest day. I was able to talk to Jeff unexpectedly a few days later (Monday night) on the phone. During that short conversation, he explained that he had drawn the verse Philippians 1 from a hat and was going to be teaching the other YL interns the following day when they got together for their devotional. After hanging up, I read the verse, and knew instantly that I needed to stop my worrying and that the summer actions, travels, and plans, were ordained by none other than our God.

 "I thank my God every time I remember you. Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy, for you have been my partners in spreading the Good News about Christ from the time you first heard it until now. And I am certain God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

    

 So it is right that I should feel as I do about all of you, for you have a special place in my heart. You share with me the special favor of God, both in my imprisonment and in defending and confirming the truth of the Good News. God knows how much I love you and long for you with the tender compassion of Christ Jesus.

 I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ's return. May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation- the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ- for this will bring much glory and praise to God. "

I love how God can always give those gentle pushes in explaining to our minds, that he knows exactly what will happen- and exactly the purpose it will play in our lives. In this verse, Paul is in prison and thanking God that he has had the ability to meet these people, and regardless of what is happening to him in prison- people are still spreading the good news and praying and building their relationship with God. It is not because Paul has encouraged it- but because the people desire and want it on their own- and to follow in obedience, no matter the risk. Paul explains how much the people had played an impacting role in his life, and how much the distance and separation takes a toll on him- but that he knows it is in the goodness of God that all things play out in His manner. I need to rest in this actions of this summer as being just that- the distance will be a toll, but all in all we are still serving God.

4 days until I start my 30 hour flight towards India!

Pictures from Managua

               Texas Pete's Hotter Hot Sauce! I was excited about the Texas
               Pete being at the hotel... I was only allowed to have a small dip
               bc It was my first meal to eat since I got sick...
                              But that one dip was awesome :-)

                              

                    Power aid was my "save all meal" in Nica.

...Can't stop Time...

I just came back from leaving Jeff in Nicaragua this past weekend. I knew it was going to be hard but I did not foresee it being like it was at all. While we were in Nica I was sick most of the time so everything that we had planned to explore and make adventures out of turned into me being sick and bed ridden. We had a lot of good talks because of it though and we started talking about important life lesson's that we had learned from our childhood and how they reflected in our lives now. One that I brought up was the fact that life does not stop for any one - or for any reason. People always wish they could put the world on hold while they get their life in order. At least to be able to give a certain person more time or even one last embrace. It is something that we have no control of and we are often expected to live out life normally no matter the situation we are experiencing. I knew that I was expressing a lesson that I was going to feel on Saturday morning when I got on the plane by myself- but it is still a lesson that is very strong and true. We always wish for that one extra moment as if it can make the impacting difference in our lives.

I know this summer is going to be good for us. I know it is something that God has a bigger plan for than I cannot understand now- and it is probably a potential time to draw closer to Him while I am in a country I do not know the people or even understand the language. This summer has great potential for some amazing Personal, Life, & World growth, so that is how I am going to need to embrace it.

I leave for India in 10 days and in my preparation for the leaving and getting medicated- I have had some interesting reactions to the vaccines. I was part of the 5% of the population that actually contracted a mild form of typhoid from the vaccine- which caused me to be sick while in Nica. I am also on a preventative medication for Malaria and apparently I am allergic to that medication. A rash across my arm and lips 2x their size gave us the direction to stop that medication. I keep telling my mom it's God's way of helping me transition to not having Jeff in the same country because even if he were here, I would not be seeing him with my clown lips. It hurts to laugh, cry, and even to smile- but the Dr. said they should be back to normal in 2 days :-) 

I hope he is right, because this picture was of me trying to smile!